I Wanted a Band—The Universe Gave Me This Instead
I want to share something with you—but before I do, let’s talk about why I’m sharing it. Call it "Resistance." It is resistance to the conditioning laid upon me in early life from within the education system. Conditioning that teaches one to not collaborate. To instead keep to yourself, stay quiet, don't touch, interact with, or draw the attention of anyone around. Conditioning that inlays routes of productivity rather than creativity and collaboration. In resistance to all of that, I want to share with you something I bought. It's a purchase made that pushes the game forward for me in more ways than one.
That purchase was an Ableton Push 3 Standalone. If you don't know what that is, let me give you a quick rundown: 64 responsive pads, plenty of knobs and switches with all kinds of layouts where I can, without an external computer (i.e.: the standalone) but also capable of working with a computer. The machine can do much that I just can't do on my own. Before, I relied on someone else to play my recordings while I performed. But now? This machine lets me make music live, pulling from a massive library of sounds. I wanted a band ... the Universe is giving me this instead and trust me ... it's a worthy trade. With this machine, I can create on the spot and adapt to what’s happening around me—responding to live energy, shaping sound in real time, and connecting with the crowd in a way I never could before.
Bottom line, I say all of this to say that I tried to learn the guitar. I couldn't get it. Tried to learn keyboard. Same. But this ... this is playing in a different sport because it takes everything I did and excelled at in the classroom—tapping on the desk, beat making, beat boxing—basically all the shit that annoyed my teachers and fellow students—and puts it all in one fine location where it becomes possible to do something with those skills that always got me in trouble.
I'm sharing the fact that I bought the Ableton Push Standalone with you because I want collaboration to stay important in my life moving forward. And although school trains you for years to take tests on your own and to do work without looking around the room and seeing what everyone else is doing or what's available and possible ... as well as actively punishes you for doing so, I want that child in me to know that collaboration isn't meant to be punished ... it rewards those who use it to their advantage and help others succeed.
With that, my goal is to use this machine in upcoming live performances—to blend music, movement, and voice into an experience that people want to share. To be able to create my own music while simultaneously projecting my voice and body movements out for the rest of the world to see and explore with and in the process create an experience worth sharing—something that pulls people in and makes them want to pass it along. It takes time and it'll definitely take time to get from "here" to "there" but I'm willing to invest it. And hopefully someday, the opportunity for collaboration that I'm currently providing others will take me up on.
One step at a time.
