Rupture - A Short Story of Endless Love

Hello. I'm writing this because I will soon die. Again. I'm not sure what, if anything, writing this down will do. This all began a long time ago. I remember it although the memory of how it all began is slowly fading out of consciousness. I try and write this down so that I don't forget how I got ... here. Let me explain.

I once met a woman. She was beautiful. Unlike any other I had ever seen. So beautiful in fact, I knew that she was more than human. And I was right. She tried to seduce me. I didn't even know her name but I told her I wasn't worthy. That she deserved better. She didn't care but again, I rejected her for my own lack of knowing myself. The punishment came swift. Endless love with strangers.

Now, I am cursed to awaken time and time again with women I've never known. Women who know me but that I don't recognize because I've never seen them before. They all love me. Adoringly. Sweetly. Preciously. Their feelings are so strong, and I feel nothing for them because I don't know them, and I know that they don't really know me.

And ... by the end of the day, I am always dead. Killed by my own hand or by the hand of others ... only to reawaken to someone else I've never been with. There is no love for me here. Sometimes, I wake up to someone I know I could love. Sometimes I tell them the truth. They never believe me. When I am dead, they will know.

I'm forced to play out this dance of not knowing over and over again. My supposed wife is in the other room even now. I used to run away from these situations. But running away, I always die. I leave the house or the apartment or the mansion and on the other side of those walls, death shortly follows. I am shot or run over by a car or something else that I can never see coming. I can never guess how it ends and it always ends. I am trapped in not knowing and I am afraid that I won't remember how I got here.

I need to remember, and to keep remembering because maybe there is a way out of this. Maybe there is something better on the other side. I will wake up tomorrow and this page will be gone. I can feel it fading, the memories of how I got here. I no longer remember who I was before all this. That man was lost a long time ago.

But the memory of my mishap with the Goddess. No, do not let me lose that. It's been so long since I last saw her. Does she remember me? I don't ask for a second chance. I am afraid I would still choose the same.