Unfounded

Unfounded
by David Avila

I haven't lost my way like this before
~so gone are the days when
when life wasn’t this
so obviously not me
entirely something else

-recognizing me is a thing of the past
who gets recognized anymore
‍ ‍its not you its me
its not me its you
‍ ‍this isnt us
~you've changed
be yourself
I don't know who you are anymore

on
and on
and ON

what isn’t this
~all I know is this
if it weren’t for this I wouldn’t know me
to be blinded by a life unlived
or unimagined
-or unstable or undone
or outdo yourself and find a life
one you couldn't have imagined
couldn't have predicted

of course you don't know you
the you that you werent never saw this coming
~never saw you becoming
or changing beyond its own horizons
just accept it

I've tried, I say
I wish I could, I say
still again, I dont know me
~and to that I say you never could have
for to imagine anything from that place is to never go beyond it
to never see a world beyond its reach and to not know thyself is to never know a world outside of its knowing

trapped in those boundaries I am no longer
-stuck in its lies I am unfound
blinking away an existence to remain
unsullied by a life unlived
no life unlived
only this life is the one you have
the one you're given
-and to accept it graciously
acknowledging the moment to moment
knowing if I no longer recognize me it is because I have gone much farther than I could have ever imaged

the gun fires and the whip cracks and we are off to the races
in a world incapable of keeping me the same
I must change in it
and become far more than anyone stopping me could have made me to be

no
no longer am I that
~run to me, says life
thank you, says I
and off we go
never to know this place again
and to know who I am never knew it
oh … lucky me